So far, I have found or seen nothing. I do not know how I can say such a thing when I have been blessed with Knight Azure’s company. So caring and generous is she. She came across me as I trained in the hunting preserve. She had already recommended it; little did she know it was already in my mind. Were it not for her though I would not survive long among these creatures. She took me and bought me temple forged armour. I felt somehow disloyal – dear Topaz gave me the Imperial scale – and in the event I had no choice, as Azure refused to take it, but to sell the armour for I am not strong enough to carry both. I have kept the coin safe though and will return it to Topaz as soon as I may. She will use it to help another I am sure. Although the armour is not with me, its legacy will live on that way. I will never part from my rapier unless I have to though. And that weapon must always stay as mine even if I am forced to lift another. His necklace went back to her hands but this weapon is too precious to part from.

There is no news of that dearest one apart from that letter rent asunder by the gods know what. I have turned it over and over in my hands and even more so in my mind. It tortures my dreams and waking hours. I have looked at the teeth and the blood and had to draw some conclusions as to where to start. So far even in this place of tearing of flesh, teeth, blood and death I see no signs. I must push further to places I should not go. For logic tells me that they would have no problems in traversing this place, dreadful as it is for me. No, it must be somewhere where the beasts are even more…..destructive. I have replied quickly to Brisingr’s letter. His concern is a burden to him and thus to me. He only hints at things, but I am sure he suspects.

I must pack my things and make ready for journeying.

And so I have advanced. I feel no different, but others tell me it is of great import. I should feel such joy, or perhaps pride. But I confess I do not. I feel.......as though I have done what I ought. In the end no one was there. How I would have longed for that dearest of one to see it, but it was not to be. Who knows when it might be that we will see each other. Conclusions - so easily and terrifying to draw. But what else is there to do?

A reply…. But oh! What a reply! My heart feels shrunken and flutters in my chest. I dare not sleep for the dreams that take me are so frightening and so terrible I fear them more than exhaustion. The letter, when it came, is bloodied and battered, bruised almost. It is ripped and savaged. What of the one that wrote it? What have they faced? Do they have the same fate? Are they bloodied and bruised? Oh Cory may your light be shining in whatever dread dark place it was sent from! Ben may your strength be with them there! Miranda, may your wise comfort envelop them! Carol may your mystery find some way to bring them home safe! Jane, may your forthright duty be in their heart! Julia may your radiance dazzle their enemies! Darren, may your displeasure be felt in the hearts of those that would harm them! Oh please…… please let them come soon…..

I sent a letter today - I felt anxious when I let it go for some reason.

It was good to see the new forge at Shieldwall. The clear mountain breeze and the scents on the air did me good. As did equipping a young one for battle and talking to the Poet's cousin (though I found myself blushing at the subject). I blushed again at the attention and language of another, but I will not dwell on that.

When I looked in my grubby training record it was with surprise I saw I was able now, if I choose, to go to the trainer. Perhaps not yet...I would rather wait in hope a while longer. At any rate it will be a long time before I am able to visit the further reaches of the great temple.

How long it is since I looked in these pages....

And so I have raised my head from my books. The new library is such a wondrous gift to us all – there is so much to learn. I confess I found it difficult walking under that gateway into Her house. Memories overwhelmed me for a moment. It is always the same when I have spent too long in walking and too little in my duties. It is as though the past raises its head as though to chide me for my complacency. Sometimes in dreams the detail is so exact and so real I am back in the places and times these memories come from. Trapped there too, for even though sleep eludes me so often, when these dreams come I cannot awake. I think I know why the books and the places of learning have become so precious to me; I feel closer to that dearest of ones. I know that, even when in other duty, their mind is never far from learning and study. I imagine a communication in the pages I read between them and me. I do not care if this is foolish; it brings me comfort.

Yet with these feelings running to my mind like a high tide that might swamp me, the gods gave me hope and blessings indeed. My most precious brother (for still and always will I call him) Korba. Korba’s voice and messages on the wind. An artist now. Still he does not seem able to settle. But then with his map making abilities I am not surprised to see him turn his talents to something so creative and beautiful. I long to see him. I long to hold him close, to tease him, to drink pirate ale with him, to……. Just be with him. So long ago he walked out of our halls, yet as painful as though it were yesterday this is to me. But he is happy – and that is more important than anything I feel. I thank the gods and goddesses for it. Dear Sorynn too – how I miss her and our great poet. I am bemused, in parts, by my meeting with her cousin. Something in his questions was…. I cannot put words in place to explain. Perhaps all will come clear in another meeting. I hope he can meet with dearest Purazon – how much that would teach him!

And Knight Azure – as kind, as generous, as funny, as fierce, as dutiful as ever she was. Thank the gods that some things in this land do not change. She is constant and steadfast, loyal and true. A gift from the gods to us all along with our brother. To have news, however brief, is such a relief. Do they think on me? Can they recall my face or my voice? Do they know I pray for them constantly, long for them constantly? I must believe it is so. Sometimes there is such sadness in beauty.